8/14/2000

I'm pretty excited. This evening I went to the first of the three classes required for my home loan. The class was boring beyond belief and really didn't impart any useful information to me. I wasn't too surprised by that, though. It did, however, make things seem more real. Once again I feel my chest seizing up a bit with the slight panic that THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING. In just a few days I will be a homeowner. I still need to get home insurance and square away a couple of things with my bank. I still need to pack up a lot of my stuff (not a big deal - I'm pretty portable even though I have a lot of stuff).

I had a pretty good weekend. On Friday evening I just had a friend over for a couple of movies. On Saturday I was relieved to find out that the Urban Art Center meeting had been cancelled which opened my schedule up for my "cyber-date" with a friend in Pennsylvania. I don't know that I'd honestly call it a "date," but the plan was to rent the same movie ("The Green Mile") (her choice - I'd already seen it) and watch it together. I also suggested that we should both eat some Italian food. She agreed. Unfortunately I was stood up. She says an emergency came up and I believe her. It was no big deal, I held no grudge anyway. When she was 15 minutes late I just started watching the movie myself and it was done in a timely enough fashion that I was able to drive over to Minneapolis to pick up Christian for a party that was happening at Matt and Sharon's house.

I was really looking forward to the party. A lot of the people I see at every social event (and of whom I've grown fairly tired) weren't going to be there because it was the first day of the Rennaisance Festival - a yearly local event during which people converge on a remote suburb in the Southwestern suburbs to enjoy what it was like in... some period of England's history. I've heard from people in the know who've attended that it would be difficult to place which period as people tend to show up wearing costumes that cover around 400 years of England's history. It's an OK idea in concept, but in execution, for the most part, 'Fest is a bunch of pompous "actors" running around loudly barking unfunny jokes in fake British accents. Bloody hell, that does bother me. What a bunch of wankers, I dare say. The whole thing is completely pants, I tell you. Completely wonky. You get the idea.

Anyway, my high hopes for the party were not in vain. There was a great turnout for the party and while some of the people annoyed me, overall I really enjoyed the people there. Matt and Sharon, the two throwing the party, are great people. At first they seem like a typical safely nice couple other than that I'd say both are smarter than the average. But it isn't long before one realizes how wrong that is. Neither of them seems to be afraid even in the slighest to speak their mind. Those of you Danarchy fans will already know that I consider that one of the best qualities to find in people. The parties they throw are also generally among the best.

I spent most of the evening chatting with Aimee, Dylan, and David. Fairly early in the party I staked out my chair and I spent most of the evening trying to convince people that they wanted to fetch me glasses of water. I was largely unsuccessful, though, and had to get my own water. I also got to talk to some friends I hadn't seen in a while and set up some tentative plans to hang out. I know, I know... that isn't what a good little hermit such as myself should be doing, but since we see each other so seldom I thought I should grab the chance while I could. Erin was there. I've often thought that Erin had some real potential to be a cool person. She's pretty smart and sometimes her posts on the darkside list have made me laugh out loud. But for the longest time she had the tendency to be very loud in public and seemed to be trying too hard to be "dark," which generally turns me off. It also doesn't help that her boyfriend is a real shithead and it's perfectly obvious to everybody including* her, but yet she stays with him. Anyway, she was much more subdued at the party and when I asked about it attributed things to a recent bout with depression. Maybe I'm a sick person for saying it, but I prefer very much the newer depressed Erin to the older manic one. She's one of the people with whom I'm supposed to hang out soon. We'll probably hang out tomorrow.

Anyway, the party ended uneventfully. At around 5:30 am I finally made it home. I was alone, of course. There were some beautiful single women at the party, but I just don't feel like hitting on anybody these days. It's probably for the best because I wouldn't have made any progress with them. Girls in the local scene (yeah, it's different elsewhere, I'm sure) are very big on looks and until I lose a few more pounds I'm just not confident enough in myself in that department. I don't blame them, of course, or mean to sound bitchy by saying it. Looks are important to me too. But you knew all that already.

On Sunday I was going to have a few people over to watch the WORST movie of all time, "Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid." We were all going to get good and drunk and have a viewing. Unfortunately I was short on alcohol and one of the people coming had some car trouble so we just called it off for this week (this is the third week in a row it's been put off). We'll see it eventually. Oh, yes. We'll see it. And I will have a point-counterpoint-counterpoint review of it here on endeneu.com where I'm sure we will all agree that nobody should ever rent and watch the movie. I hope you all appreciate the pains we're going to suffer for you. Even with my legendary ability to sit through horrible movies that one almost did me in the first time. Anyway, since nobody came over I just watched a couple of the movies I'd rented. One, "The Naked Man," was pretty funny. It's about a chiropractor who is also a professional wrestler who has some nasty stuff happen when he moves back to his parents' town and snaps, going on small killing/maiming rampage. The other one, "Performance" honestly didn't ohld my attention very well and I wound up paying more attention to my laptop than the screen.

Today at work I got a $65 ticket for my lack of a front license plate. It's my fault for not having a plate (it got knocked off when someone hit and ran my car in January - that's plenty of time for me to have purchased a new plate). But even so I think $65 is excessive for a violation that causes absolutely no danger to anybody (at least of whom I'm aware). Damned metermaids.

The only other thing on my mind at the moment is that I was a bit dismayed by something I read in Christian's diary this evening. He plans to tell his ex-girlfriend, Ursula, about a fairly major indiscretion of his from when they were dating. I understand his reasoning, but I'm afraid that no real good will come of the admission. I've been in positions similar to Ursula's before and I know how much it hurts to learn of something like that. I don't know Ursula well enough to gauge what her reaction will be, but I don't imagine she'll be with as often (if at all) in the future when Christian and I hang out. It's really too bad. Even though Ursula doesn't usually say much I like her and consider her a friend. Though she's considering rooming with Aimee and Dylan for a little while so I'll be able to visit with her when I'm visiting them. I don't imagine Aimee and Dylan will have anything to do with Christian for a little while either. I could be wrong on this one, as on the one hand they might just dismiss the thing out of hand. But what I think is more likely is that they will disapprove very strongly.

I disapprove too, I suppose. I've never fooled around on a girlfriend. Well, there was one time, sort of, but I thought we'd already broken up at that point. She broke up with me within the next two days so she apparently didn't think so. I still think we were already broken-up, but I don't want to paint myself as a saint when obviously I'm not. And the "sort of" is because it was not nearly as much "fooling around" as one might think. It was really fairly minor. And I have been at several times the "other man" in others' relationships, but in most of those cases it was due the fact that I really didn't like the boyfriends. I'd never cheat with the girlfriend of someone for whom I had even the slightest respect. But I'm digressing.

The thing that bugs me most about the whole situation is that I am now going to be placed in the awkward position of wanting to keep both groups of friends and having to make sure to plan around them meeting since it'll throw a damper on any evening. It's no big deal in the grander scheme of things, but I'd still much rather be able to make plans unfettered by politics. I'll still be Christian's friend. He hasn't fucked me over and as we are both straight there is pretty much no chance of that type of screw-over anyway for me. I'll stil be friends with Aimee and Dylan and (if possible) Ursula. I've never known if Ursula liked me or just tolerated me because of mutual friends. I had actually at some point thought of asking her out before she and Christian hooked up, way back when. I don't know if I'd reconsider it now or at some point in the future. I suppose it's possible, but it's definitely too soon after the breakup now. I probably won't, but I'm definitely not ruling out any possibilities. Truly cool girls are hard to find and everything I know about her pretty much indicates that she is one of them.
I know what some of you are thinking to yourselves. "But Dan, you the fuckin' man. Any girl would be thrilled beyond belief to date you. You's a sex machine and I ain't foolin.' You should have a line of girls around the block willing and ready to service you." Believe me, I agree, but things haven't been working out that way lately. So you'll have to forgive when I occasionally babble a bit about the girls I want to date or have wanted to date or simply saw once or twice and imagined what things would be like if I were more outgoing and she were less likely to disappoint me when engaged in conversation.

I think that's all I have to say this evening. Now I will go back to sitting on my couch, sweating, and dreaming of the day that I will have air conditioning (Friday, that is).

-Dan


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